When I have children. . .
C’mon, admit it. Back when you were childless, you were part of the Child Police. Any time you were at a restaurant, movie theater, airplane, or other public place and children were disruptive or there was a crying baby, you were there to turn, look, locate, and stare disapprovingly at the Parents Who Could Not Control Their Children.
Your children would sit quietly in restaurants. Your children would color while waiting for the meal. They would gratefully eat what was placed in front of them and the thought of tossing their portions to the floor in protest wouldn’t even occur to them.
Your children would no more dream of disrupting a movie theater full of patrons than say, you would. On the airplane, your children would never even think of amusing themselves by say, kicking the seat in front of them, or lifting that little table up and down more than once. Run up and down the aisles? It wouldn’t enter their little minds. They would sit down, fold their hands in their laps, and quietly listen to the music on the plane’s audio system. Perhaps you would enjoy a nice discourse on the clouds going by, or why the sun moved from one side of the airplane to another.
I have actually seen a child like that. It was my neighbors’ kid, a beautiful little redhead who could be taken anywhere. Her mother would lay her down for a little nap late in the afternoon so she could cook dinner in peace and this little darling would actually go to sleep at bedtime. My neighbor once expressed concern when I wouldn’t let my child take a nap at 5 p.m., seeing as he appeared to be tired. I explained that if you let the kid take a nap that late in the afternoon, he’d be up half the night and I needed a few hours of sleep if I was going to be in shape for when he paged me at 6 a.m. the next day. She was bewildered at the idea of a child not going to bed at the assigned time and utterly shocked at the thought of waking up before 8 a.m.
But, back to my children. All I can say is, Hah! When I had children, none turned out the way I had imagined back in my childless days. Not even remotely. With our first child, we couldn’t go anywhere that required him to stay still for 3 consecutive seconds. Only when he turned four did we dare venture out to casual eating establishments, like Chinese take out. But then the second one turned one and mobile, so we were back to square one. When our third arrived, we gave up going out altogether unless there was an equal adult to child ratio. Better yet, if the adults actually outnumbered our boys. That way there was backup for when the assigned Lion Tamer needed to stop for breath.
Movies? Please. Restaurants were something saved for when you had a few extra twenties lying around for a babysitter. And who has extra anything with three kids in the house? Now I’m the one developing the ability to NOT NOTICE the glares of adults around me when I step outside the house with my children.
I’m hoping this skill will serve me in good stead when I have to manage three children ages 6, 3, and 1 by myself on a flight from California to Florida. We’re moving, and my husband thinks it would be “too much” for the children to endure the cross country trek via car. I suggested that he fly with the children, and I drive our car to our new home. For some reason, he wasn’t too enthused.
My neighbors with the redhead are expecting another child any day, and all I can say is, I hope this next one is one of those that runs up and down the aisles on the airplane.
Your children would sit quietly in restaurants. Your children would color while waiting for the meal. They would gratefully eat what was placed in front of them and the thought of tossing their portions to the floor in protest wouldn’t even occur to them.
Your children would no more dream of disrupting a movie theater full of patrons than say, you would. On the airplane, your children would never even think of amusing themselves by say, kicking the seat in front of them, or lifting that little table up and down more than once. Run up and down the aisles? It wouldn’t enter their little minds. They would sit down, fold their hands in their laps, and quietly listen to the music on the plane’s audio system. Perhaps you would enjoy a nice discourse on the clouds going by, or why the sun moved from one side of the airplane to another.
I have actually seen a child like that. It was my neighbors’ kid, a beautiful little redhead who could be taken anywhere. Her mother would lay her down for a little nap late in the afternoon so she could cook dinner in peace and this little darling would actually go to sleep at bedtime. My neighbor once expressed concern when I wouldn’t let my child take a nap at 5 p.m., seeing as he appeared to be tired. I explained that if you let the kid take a nap that late in the afternoon, he’d be up half the night and I needed a few hours of sleep if I was going to be in shape for when he paged me at 6 a.m. the next day. She was bewildered at the idea of a child not going to bed at the assigned time and utterly shocked at the thought of waking up before 8 a.m.
But, back to my children. All I can say is, Hah! When I had children, none turned out the way I had imagined back in my childless days. Not even remotely. With our first child, we couldn’t go anywhere that required him to stay still for 3 consecutive seconds. Only when he turned four did we dare venture out to casual eating establishments, like Chinese take out. But then the second one turned one and mobile, so we were back to square one. When our third arrived, we gave up going out altogether unless there was an equal adult to child ratio. Better yet, if the adults actually outnumbered our boys. That way there was backup for when the assigned Lion Tamer needed to stop for breath.
Movies? Please. Restaurants were something saved for when you had a few extra twenties lying around for a babysitter. And who has extra anything with three kids in the house? Now I’m the one developing the ability to NOT NOTICE the glares of adults around me when I step outside the house with my children.
I’m hoping this skill will serve me in good stead when I have to manage three children ages 6, 3, and 1 by myself on a flight from California to Florida. We’re moving, and my husband thinks it would be “too much” for the children to endure the cross country trek via car. I suggested that he fly with the children, and I drive our car to our new home. For some reason, he wasn’t too enthused.
My neighbors with the redhead are expecting another child any day, and all I can say is, I hope this next one is one of those that runs up and down the aisles on the airplane.
posted by Kirsten at 9:21 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home