The Birth Order Difference
The Mommy Diaries©
by Kirsten E. Kennedy
with a little help from Matthew, Andrew, and Lukey, and from my best friend, Josh
The Birth Order Difference
Assume you have more than one baby, for whatever particular reason seems good at the time. Namely, a playmate for the first one, which will actually give you some free moments during the day to get your makeup on (this is a documented reason parents give for having another child, laughable as it is.) Or, your birth control decided to take matters into it’s own hands. For whatever the reason, there’s another baby in the house. You’ve discovered the idea that the children will entertain one another is ludicrous, at best, and that you have no time to dream about makeup, much less apply any because you’re constantly brushing up on your refereeing skills.
In psychiatric circles and other esteemed areas of academia, there’s a term called, “Sibling Drift”. This describes the phenomenon occurring at your house when more than one child occupies the premises.
Sibling Drift, Mealtimes
The first baby, when it’s time to eat, you get out their pristine highchair, fasten a bib around the baby’s neck, and make sure all four food groups are adequately represented in the baby dish. Second baby, you wrestle the kid into the high chair, snap a bib on, and try to keep child 1 and child 2 from tossing food across the table at each other.
Third baby: You remember to feed the kid.
Sibling Drift, Naptime
First baby: naptime is adhered to regardless of social events, weather, or visiting friends and family. Trips in the car or stroller are carefully choreographed to match up with child’s naptime. Naps are reluctantly given up, only at the instigation of the child.
Second baby: Naptime is a little looser. Baby can be stretched a few minutes in order to accomplish certain parental goals, such as grocery shopping. Older child is kept quiet so younger sibling can get some rest. Naps are given up when younger child realizes older sibling doesn’t have to take them anymore.
Third baby: those car seat carrier combinations sure are handy!
Sibling Drift, Toilet Training
First baby: you are bound and determined to have that kid out of diapers by the age of two, like your mother says you were. After a great deal of persistence, (and not leaving the house for two weeks, you claim success sometime between 2 and 2 ½ years old.
Second baby: if you’re lucky, this one follows bigger sibling into the bathroom and gets the idea by 2, 2 ½ or so. I am not lucky. What makes it a little harder this time is that you have more places to go, and it’s not feasible to not leave the house for two weeks, due to various playdates, gymnastics lessons, preschool activities, etc. By 3, you claim success (sort of).
Third baby: You barely have time to go to the bathroom. You ignore your mother, all your friends, and find a pediatrician that reassures you that bedwetting is perfectly natural until age 4.
Sibling Drift, Crying
First baby: you are having a conversation with say, your brother. Baby starts crying. Brother wants to finish what he’s saying, but you cut him off with a curt, “my baby is crying”, hang up the phone, and go see to the baby.
Second baby: you are busy reading a story, talking on the phone, or engaged with your older child. Baby starts crying. You excuse yourself from the activity, then go tend to the baby.
Third baby: Dinner’s burning, you’re changing child 2’s diaper, and child 1 is scribbling with green permanent marker on the wall. (you didn’t even know you had a green permanent marker in the house.) You finish changing the diaper, turn off dinner, and wrestle the green marker away from the would be artist. Then, you go get the baby, who by this time, is inconsolable, having to wait so long for you.
Sibling Drift, Toys
First baby: toys start showing up when the child gets mobile and is bored with your pots and pans. Soft, age developmentally appropriate toys slowly accumulate, but are still contained within reasonable limits.
Second baby: skips over baby toys after 6 months of age and wants to play with older siblings toys. You get a big plastic tub to keep all the toys in. You spend a lot of time breaking up fights and discussing the concept of sharing.
Third baby: your house no longer even remotely resembles the love nest you and your husband so thoughtfully arranged. Your house is strewn with baby toys, which all manage to escape the big plastic tub you bought to keep them in. You stumble over them in the bathroom, kitchen, living room, the kid’s room, and your bedroom. In the middle of the night, you stub your toe on the way to returning at least one kid to their own bed,
Hey, with more than one kid in the house, you ought to be glad the house is still standing at all.
by Kirsten E. Kennedy
with a little help from Matthew, Andrew, and Lukey, and from my best friend, Josh
The Birth Order Difference
Assume you have more than one baby, for whatever particular reason seems good at the time. Namely, a playmate for the first one, which will actually give you some free moments during the day to get your makeup on (this is a documented reason parents give for having another child, laughable as it is.) Or, your birth control decided to take matters into it’s own hands. For whatever the reason, there’s another baby in the house. You’ve discovered the idea that the children will entertain one another is ludicrous, at best, and that you have no time to dream about makeup, much less apply any because you’re constantly brushing up on your refereeing skills.
In psychiatric circles and other esteemed areas of academia, there’s a term called, “Sibling Drift”. This describes the phenomenon occurring at your house when more than one child occupies the premises.
Sibling Drift, Mealtimes
The first baby, when it’s time to eat, you get out their pristine highchair, fasten a bib around the baby’s neck, and make sure all four food groups are adequately represented in the baby dish. Second baby, you wrestle the kid into the high chair, snap a bib on, and try to keep child 1 and child 2 from tossing food across the table at each other.
Third baby: You remember to feed the kid.
Sibling Drift, Naptime
First baby: naptime is adhered to regardless of social events, weather, or visiting friends and family. Trips in the car or stroller are carefully choreographed to match up with child’s naptime. Naps are reluctantly given up, only at the instigation of the child.
Second baby: Naptime is a little looser. Baby can be stretched a few minutes in order to accomplish certain parental goals, such as grocery shopping. Older child is kept quiet so younger sibling can get some rest. Naps are given up when younger child realizes older sibling doesn’t have to take them anymore.
Third baby: those car seat carrier combinations sure are handy!
Sibling Drift, Toilet Training
First baby: you are bound and determined to have that kid out of diapers by the age of two, like your mother says you were. After a great deal of persistence, (and not leaving the house for two weeks, you claim success sometime between 2 and 2 ½ years old.
Second baby: if you’re lucky, this one follows bigger sibling into the bathroom and gets the idea by 2, 2 ½ or so. I am not lucky. What makes it a little harder this time is that you have more places to go, and it’s not feasible to not leave the house for two weeks, due to various playdates, gymnastics lessons, preschool activities, etc. By 3, you claim success (sort of).
Third baby: You barely have time to go to the bathroom. You ignore your mother, all your friends, and find a pediatrician that reassures you that bedwetting is perfectly natural until age 4.
Sibling Drift, Crying
First baby: you are having a conversation with say, your brother. Baby starts crying. Brother wants to finish what he’s saying, but you cut him off with a curt, “my baby is crying”, hang up the phone, and go see to the baby.
Second baby: you are busy reading a story, talking on the phone, or engaged with your older child. Baby starts crying. You excuse yourself from the activity, then go tend to the baby.
Third baby: Dinner’s burning, you’re changing child 2’s diaper, and child 1 is scribbling with green permanent marker on the wall. (you didn’t even know you had a green permanent marker in the house.) You finish changing the diaper, turn off dinner, and wrestle the green marker away from the would be artist. Then, you go get the baby, who by this time, is inconsolable, having to wait so long for you.
Sibling Drift, Toys
First baby: toys start showing up when the child gets mobile and is bored with your pots and pans. Soft, age developmentally appropriate toys slowly accumulate, but are still contained within reasonable limits.
Second baby: skips over baby toys after 6 months of age and wants to play with older siblings toys. You get a big plastic tub to keep all the toys in. You spend a lot of time breaking up fights and discussing the concept of sharing.
Third baby: your house no longer even remotely resembles the love nest you and your husband so thoughtfully arranged. Your house is strewn with baby toys, which all manage to escape the big plastic tub you bought to keep them in. You stumble over them in the bathroom, kitchen, living room, the kid’s room, and your bedroom. In the middle of the night, you stub your toe on the way to returning at least one kid to their own bed,
Hey, with more than one kid in the house, you ought to be glad the house is still standing at all.
posted by Kirsten at 5:23 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home